Well my plans to start the new year off healthier has gotten side tracked. I started off on the right foot, but a light case of the flu or something knocked me off course. I am feeling much better and I am trying to eat according to the plan. It is the exercise that I am having the most trouble with. I just do not like getting out of bed at 4:30 to go to the gym. I got spoiled over the holidays, to many days off allowed me to sleep in. I was used to getting up by 5:30 at least and now I will stay until the absolute last minute. I have to find the motivation to roll out early enough to get in a good work out at least 3 days a week.
I also have not put away my Christmas decorations. It has either been to cold or I have been to sick to take care of it. So everything is piled in the two front rooms of the house waiting to be boxed up. The tree is still completely decorated and I don't see when I am going to have time to get to any of it. Saturday I will be at the church all day cooking and delivering soup for our monthly Soup Saturday. I need a week off with good weather and good health to get some things done. I also need for someone to take Ray for that week. I work better when he is not around.
As I write this a plan is formulating on how I can do all that I need to do within the allotted time. I will get back on track with my New Year New Me plan, and I will get the decorations put away. And I will give the dogs a bath. One more thing on my list of things that really need to get done. If only I really were an amoeba, then I would just split and all my problems would be solved. I would be half my weight and one of us could go to work and the other could stay at home and take care of things there. A girl can dream, can't she?
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Here I go again
One of the things that I vowed to do in this new year was to start writing again. So as the title says "Here I go again." I want and need to do this for myself and if I inspire or encourage others then that is an added benefit.
I never dd like the word resolution, I like to think of it as more of a clean slate and a new beginning. That is what I am going to aim for in this new year. Becoming healthier, and hopefully losing weight in the process. Over the years I have gone on various diets and lost and gained enough weight to make up at least one whole person. We have all been told that yo-yo dieting is not good for our bodies. So I stopped dieting all together. My weight was totally out of control, I was diagnosed with type II diabetes, hypertension, thyroid disease, and in July of 2012 I was hospitalized with chest pains. Thankfully there were no problems found with my heart. I halfheartedly went to the gym and sort of tried to eat better. Then later in the year my blood sugar spiked to 533. And refused to go down below the low 200's.
I joined Weight Watchers, and I am truly trying to be more careful about what goes into my body. I am going return to the gym and get in a good workout at least 3 days per week. Right now my goals are small. I have a pair of jeans in my closet that I cannot zip, I want to be able to get them on by the end of January. And when I do, I will shout it to the roof tops. One of the things that I have wanted to do for years is to ride along during the National Field Trials. I won't be able to this year, but next February I will be there.
Monday, August 15, 2011
A Lesson Learned
The plan was for a few friends to get together for a little fun and enjoyment. But more than fun was had during our Sunday afternoon outing. Since I am evidently the only person on the planet that has not read The Help, I had no idea that going to see the movie would stir up such strong emotions. I had watched the clips and it looked like it would be a funny and enjoyable movie to see with friends, and it was. However, it also taught me a great deal about our not so recent history and how much we have grown.
I studied history in school, and I have read the books on the civil rights movement. I know the story about Rosa Parks and her bus seat, but I had no idea that there were people who behaved as those women did in that movie. Nor did I know that there were actually laws on the books that specifically targeted people because of their race.
I was born in the South, I grew up in the South and I will most likely die in the South. I have always been proud of my heritage. But watching that movie yesterday, not so much. I grew up during the time that was depicted in the movie. My family never had the luxury of a maid. And for that I am now very glad, although I would like to believe that if we had, they would not have been treated as poor women were. I learned a lesson yesterday and I hope it is one that I never forget.
I studied history in school, and I have read the books on the civil rights movement. I know the story about Rosa Parks and her bus seat, but I had no idea that there were people who behaved as those women did in that movie. Nor did I know that there were actually laws on the books that specifically targeted people because of their race.
I was born in the South, I grew up in the South and I will most likely die in the South. I have always been proud of my heritage. But watching that movie yesterday, not so much. I grew up during the time that was depicted in the movie. My family never had the luxury of a maid. And for that I am now very glad, although I would like to believe that if we had, they would not have been treated as poor women were. I learned a lesson yesterday and I hope it is one that I never forget.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Jealousy
Jealousy is a terrible emotion, and I should know. I have allowed jealousy to tag along and dictate my attitude and feelings toward others for years. The biggest problem with letting jealousy take over, is that is keeps you from really seeing the person you are jealous of for who they really are.
Jealousy has popped up when I least expect it. I have felt jealous of the kind of car a co-worker drove,the paycheck my neighbor brought home, and I really been jealous of those people who seem to be able to eat anything they want and never gain an ounce.
Jealousy popped in and paid me a visit this morning at the gym, can you believe it the gym. When "miss perfect" walked in my eyes turned from blue to green in a nano second. There she was, not an ounce of fat, beautiful hair, there was nothing wrong with her, she was perfect and I hated her. Why was she working out I wondered to myself she certainly didn't need to. But what I don't know is who she is. I do not know her story. I have no idea what her life is like. My opinion was based totally on what I saw and how it made me feel. which by the way was very inadequate.
I have learned and am still learning, that if you waste time being jealous then you may never know who a person really is. And sometimes the one you are jealous of may turn out to be the best friend you ever had. We all need to remember to dig a little deeper and stop making assumptions based on emotions.
Jealousy has popped up when I least expect it. I have felt jealous of the kind of car a co-worker drove,the paycheck my neighbor brought home, and I really been jealous of those people who seem to be able to eat anything they want and never gain an ounce.
Jealousy popped in and paid me a visit this morning at the gym, can you believe it the gym. When "miss perfect" walked in my eyes turned from blue to green in a nano second. There she was, not an ounce of fat, beautiful hair, there was nothing wrong with her, she was perfect and I hated her. Why was she working out I wondered to myself she certainly didn't need to. But what I don't know is who she is. I do not know her story. I have no idea what her life is like. My opinion was based totally on what I saw and how it made me feel. which by the way was very inadequate.
I have learned and am still learning, that if you waste time being jealous then you may never know who a person really is. And sometimes the one you are jealous of may turn out to be the best friend you ever had. We all need to remember to dig a little deeper and stop making assumptions based on emotions.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Be Careful About the Lessons You Teach
We all know someone that really needs to be taught a lesson. And many of us have no trouble in volunteering to be the teacher. But we really need to think before we teach.
Recently I took it upon myself to teach someone that I know a lesson. This person is younger than me and is a mother and a grandmother. It is the general opinion of several that know her, that she is could use a lesson in responsibility. So when given the opportunity to teach such a lesson I was more than willing to do my part.
The mother had not followed through and contacted me to make sure that there would be enough food for her group at a particular event. As usual I had more than enough for all that were present and could have shared, but in order to teach her that very important lesson, I chose not to. Thus the children were not fed. After I got home it really started to sink in, I had "thrown out the baby with the bath water." In my zeal to teach an irresponsible parent a lesson, I taught a group of teenagers an even bigger lesson. They saw just how selfish a person could be.
At the time, I did not see myself as selfish, I had asked who wanted food and those that had, paid for their meals. So I told myself that it was not fair to them if I gave it to others when I had taken money from them. And I was not doing it for money, at least not a profit. All I had asked for was to cover the cost.
But whatever the motive behind it, I was wrong. It is not for me to judge, or to teach lessons, that is up to God and he will in his time and in his way. I have been so blessed over the last 12 months and I should be rejoicing and sharing my blessings. Those of us who call ourselves Christians have to be mindful of who and what we represent. We must walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
I am going to try to be less selfish and more understanding, but most of all I will try and remember that I am not the judge nor the jury and the lessons that need teaching will be taught by a much better teacher than me.
Recently I took it upon myself to teach someone that I know a lesson. This person is younger than me and is a mother and a grandmother. It is the general opinion of several that know her, that she is could use a lesson in responsibility. So when given the opportunity to teach such a lesson I was more than willing to do my part.
The mother had not followed through and contacted me to make sure that there would be enough food for her group at a particular event. As usual I had more than enough for all that were present and could have shared, but in order to teach her that very important lesson, I chose not to. Thus the children were not fed. After I got home it really started to sink in, I had "thrown out the baby with the bath water." In my zeal to teach an irresponsible parent a lesson, I taught a group of teenagers an even bigger lesson. They saw just how selfish a person could be.
At the time, I did not see myself as selfish, I had asked who wanted food and those that had, paid for their meals. So I told myself that it was not fair to them if I gave it to others when I had taken money from them. And I was not doing it for money, at least not a profit. All I had asked for was to cover the cost.
But whatever the motive behind it, I was wrong. It is not for me to judge, or to teach lessons, that is up to God and he will in his time and in his way. I have been so blessed over the last 12 months and I should be rejoicing and sharing my blessings. Those of us who call ourselves Christians have to be mindful of who and what we represent. We must walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
I am going to try to be less selfish and more understanding, but most of all I will try and remember that I am not the judge nor the jury and the lessons that need teaching will be taught by a much better teacher than me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Trust
This morning like most mornings I read my devotionals. They come to me via email on a daily basis. Most mornings one of the three will speak directly to me. Funny thing this morning they all talked of trust in one way or another. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have trust issues. Over the years I have opened myself up to people only to be disappointed or worse yet hurt. Trust is a hard thing to do.
In our lives we are asked to trust in so many areas, we trust that our employers will keep us and that they will pay us for the work that we do. We trust our parents, our children and our friends. our elected officials, and on and on. There are some that will use this trust to take advantage and hurt. There are others that just plainly do not deserve the trust that we have placed in them.
For those who have found that their trust was misplaced, it becomes more difficult for them to trust and thus they may miss out on some very special relationships because of this. This is where I found myself. Over the years, trusted friends turned out not to be so trustworthy. Family disappointed and took advantage, causing me to put up my guard. If I didn't open up and let anyone in, then I would not get hurt.
I found out that it doesn't work that way, we were put on this earth to be a family, to trust and take care of each other. Yes, there are those who will hurt us no matter what. There are those who see my trust as a weakness to exploit and use to their advantage. I am learning that it is their loss not mine. You will notice I said "learning" it is an ongoing process. The biggest thing that I have learned is to trust God, I know that if I will put my trust in him that nothing else really matters. He will take care of me, great things will happen in my life and none of the rest really matters. I am not saying that I will not be hurt by those who betray my trust, it will still hurt, and bad things will still happen in my life. But if I will put my full and complete trust in him then it will be ok.
Trusting is not easy, especially for a wall builder life myself. I work every day at giving it over to God and leaving it with him, it is hard! I am a fixer, and fixer with trust issues on top of that. But I am working on it and each day it becomes a little easier.
And for those whom I have trusted, and been hurt. I pray that I can get past my hurt and I pray that they will see how much they have hurt not just me but others with their betrayal. I want to let it go and get on with life, and most of all I want to trust without doubt.
In our lives we are asked to trust in so many areas, we trust that our employers will keep us and that they will pay us for the work that we do. We trust our parents, our children and our friends. our elected officials, and on and on. There are some that will use this trust to take advantage and hurt. There are others that just plainly do not deserve the trust that we have placed in them.
For those who have found that their trust was misplaced, it becomes more difficult for them to trust and thus they may miss out on some very special relationships because of this. This is where I found myself. Over the years, trusted friends turned out not to be so trustworthy. Family disappointed and took advantage, causing me to put up my guard. If I didn't open up and let anyone in, then I would not get hurt.
I found out that it doesn't work that way, we were put on this earth to be a family, to trust and take care of each other. Yes, there are those who will hurt us no matter what. There are those who see my trust as a weakness to exploit and use to their advantage. I am learning that it is their loss not mine. You will notice I said "learning" it is an ongoing process. The biggest thing that I have learned is to trust God, I know that if I will put my trust in him that nothing else really matters. He will take care of me, great things will happen in my life and none of the rest really matters. I am not saying that I will not be hurt by those who betray my trust, it will still hurt, and bad things will still happen in my life. But if I will put my full and complete trust in him then it will be ok.
Trusting is not easy, especially for a wall builder life myself. I work every day at giving it over to God and leaving it with him, it is hard! I am a fixer, and fixer with trust issues on top of that. But I am working on it and each day it becomes a little easier.
And for those whom I have trusted, and been hurt. I pray that I can get past my hurt and I pray that they will see how much they have hurt not just me but others with their betrayal. I want to let it go and get on with life, and most of all I want to trust without doubt.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Understanding
This morning as I was catching up with my friends on Face Book a friend posted something that really upset me. It was a comment about someone that he knows, who has evidently threatened to hurt himself. This post struck a nerve with me and I had to post a response of my own.
The "conversation" went back and forth between my friend and myself with another person jumping in and adding their opinion as well. The general consensus from their side was that the person was trying to get attention, and that if they really wanted to die then they should just go ahead and get it over with. My opinion was that the person was reaching out for help in the only way that they knew how. And they that they needed understanding and help.
After a few interchanges I decided that the best thing for me was to un-friend my friend, so that I no longer had to read the posts that he and his friends were posting.
But what really upset me was the callousness of my friend and his friend. We all need to work to understand those around us, and realize that each is dealing with their own demons. I know that my action of un-friending was not the answer, but it was the best thing for me to do at the time. I just pray that the person that was the subject of the conversation receives the help that they are so desperately reaching out for.
The "conversation" went back and forth between my friend and myself with another person jumping in and adding their opinion as well. The general consensus from their side was that the person was trying to get attention, and that if they really wanted to die then they should just go ahead and get it over with. My opinion was that the person was reaching out for help in the only way that they knew how. And they that they needed understanding and help.
After a few interchanges I decided that the best thing for me was to un-friend my friend, so that I no longer had to read the posts that he and his friends were posting.
But what really upset me was the callousness of my friend and his friend. We all need to work to understand those around us, and realize that each is dealing with their own demons. I know that my action of un-friending was not the answer, but it was the best thing for me to do at the time. I just pray that the person that was the subject of the conversation receives the help that they are so desperately reaching out for.
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