I am HAPPY, I realized this on my way home from work yesterday. I was talking to a friend and it occurred to me that I was truly happy. If this seems like an odd statement you would have to understand that for years, I have not been truly happy.
There was something missing in my life and it was robbing me of actual happiness. Don't misunderstand I have had fun, and joy. But I do not remember a tie when I could say that I was truly happy. I always felt like there was something lacking, and if I could only make more money so that I could buy this or that, usually something completely unnecessary and useless in the grand scheme of things, then I would finally find happiness. But it never worked. I searched and yearned and blamed others for my state. Then suddenly one day I realize that I am happy and no person or thing had anything to do with it.
This sense of peace has come from finally letting go and letting God run my life. I still don't have piles of money, I still get really aggravated at Ray, and there are days when my new job really stinks, but these are not the things that have given me my happiness and losing them will not take it away. I would surely hate to lose Ray, and I almost have on a couple of occasions. And it was probably those incidents that made me realize just how important he is to me. But people and things are not where my happiness comes from. I still get my feelings hurt, and people still disappoint me, but I no longer give them the power to control my feelings as I once did. I know now that as long as I am true to myself and work everyday to follow the path that God wants me to follow my life will be better and I will be a better person and for it.
As I talked to my friend on the phone and told her of this wonderful feeling that I expressed my desire to share it with all of those around me. In fact I told her that “I wish I could spread it like peanut butter” so that everyone would know the joy and peace that I do. So dear friends my prayer for you today is this. “Dear Heavenly Father, please allow all of your children to know this wonderful sense of love and peace, as it is a wonderful gift and I am so thankful that you have shared it with me so that I may pass it on to those around me. In your name I pray, Amen.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day
Not a lot to say on this day designated for "lovers". Just happy to be who I am and where I am. And Thankful to God for all he has brought into my life.
My husband Ray, who loves me unconditionally; my family who has been there for me when I needed them most;and my friends who have encouraged me, and shown me a love that I never would have imagined. I thank you all for being there, through some pretty rocky times.
I love you all for all you have been and will be in my life. But most of all I thank God for allowing me to know you and to love you.
My husband Ray, who loves me unconditionally; my family who has been there for me when I needed them most;and my friends who have encouraged me, and shown me a love that I never would have imagined. I thank you all for being there, through some pretty rocky times.
I love you all for all you have been and will be in my life. But most of all I thank God for allowing me to know you and to love you.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Roots
Growing up I dreamed of the kind of house that I would live in when I was old, you know in my twenties. The kind of home that I wanted changed from year to year. There was the time that I wanted a ranch house, with lots of horses roaming around. Then after reading “Gone With the Wind”, I wanted my own Tara. But I have come to realize that it wasn’t the house that I craved but a home. I wanted a place that I could call my own, where I could feel safe and free to be myself.
We were never homeless in the sense that we had nowhere to live, but in another sense I was homeless. I have anywhere that I belonged. To some degree I had that while living with my grandparents, but I was always reminded that my room was not really my room. It was actually my Uncle’s or my Aunt’s. And I was merely a “guest” passing through.
The farm that my grandparents lived on has been in my family for many generations and my roots are there. And I finally have a home that is mine. As an adult I have not traveled a lot, I hate to move I like to settle in and stay. This I am sure comes from being moved around a lot as a child. But I have come to realize recently that it wasn’t the building that I was yearning for, but the feeling of security that comes with it. When I am here I know that I am in my safe haven, with someone who loves me and cares for me. I can shut out the world and the chaos that goes with it and be myself.
No one can kick me out of my bedroom, or make me feel like a visitor or an outsider. This is not just a house, it is my home. I also know that it would not matter where this building is, or how big it is, as long as there is love within, it will always be home. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband, Ray into my life. He has allowed me to be me, no excuses, no apologies. He loves me and I love him. We do not always see eye to eye and in many ways we are total and complete opposites. But together we work. We respect each other, and protect each other. I will argue when I disagree with him, but I will defend him to anyone that tries to do him harm, as he will for me. It is funny how our roots can be in one place but our hearts are somewhere else.
We were never homeless in the sense that we had nowhere to live, but in another sense I was homeless. I have anywhere that I belonged. To some degree I had that while living with my grandparents, but I was always reminded that my room was not really my room. It was actually my Uncle’s or my Aunt’s. And I was merely a “guest” passing through.
The farm that my grandparents lived on has been in my family for many generations and my roots are there. And I finally have a home that is mine. As an adult I have not traveled a lot, I hate to move I like to settle in and stay. This I am sure comes from being moved around a lot as a child. But I have come to realize recently that it wasn’t the building that I was yearning for, but the feeling of security that comes with it. When I am here I know that I am in my safe haven, with someone who loves me and cares for me. I can shut out the world and the chaos that goes with it and be myself.
No one can kick me out of my bedroom, or make me feel like a visitor or an outsider. This is not just a house, it is my home. I also know that it would not matter where this building is, or how big it is, as long as there is love within, it will always be home. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband, Ray into my life. He has allowed me to be me, no excuses, no apologies. He loves me and I love him. We do not always see eye to eye and in many ways we are total and complete opposites. But together we work. We respect each other, and protect each other. I will argue when I disagree with him, but I will defend him to anyone that tries to do him harm, as he will for me. It is funny how our roots can be in one place but our hearts are somewhere else.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Forgive and Forget
As I sit here trying to come up with an idea for my blog, I wonder why is it that all my really great thoughts seem to come to me in the middle of the night. If that the only time that I will allow my mind to clear enough? That is one explanation. Another is that maybe that is the only time that I am truly quiet and listening. For whatever the reason, that is when my thoughts seem to be the clearest. There have been times that a thought would be so strong that I would get out of bed and write. But since starting my new job, I would really rather not spend two of three hours sitting at my desk in the middle of the night. Sleep is a very important thing to me, especially when I know that I am going to have to get up at 6:00 am.
One of the things that has stuck with me over the last few days is forgiveness As Christians, we understand that if we seek forgiveness, it will be given. But I have started to ask myself the question, actually there are two questions. If I expect forgiveness then should I also not be willing to forgive myself? The second question is if we forgive, should we not also forget?
I know that I have been hurt, disappointed, and betrayed by people that I have loved and trusted, both family and friends. And I have carried around that betrayal in my heart like a badge of some kind. Yet I know that I have also hurt and betrayed my Heavenly Father. Yet all I have to do is ask for his forgiveness and it is given freely. OK, some of those earthly beings that hurt me, have never and will never ask me to forgive them. So does that give me permission not to forgive them? No, because in many instances, they have no idea that they have done anything And for those that do know what they have done, but refuse to acknowledge it. That is an issue they will have to deal with. But it is my responsibility to forgive. Then we come to the forgetting part.
When I ask for that forgiveness, is God going to remind me of it when I mess up again? Nope, he will just continue to love me and forgive me. All past transgressions are forgotten. Therefore, when you forgive, it will not be complete and total forgiveness if you do not also forget. I understand how difficult this is. I have wrestled with this deli ma for sometime now myself. It seems that one person in particular has made it their goal in life to be my undoing. We will never be friends again, but I have forgiven them and am moving on with my life.
One of the things that has stuck with me over the last few days is forgiveness As Christians, we understand that if we seek forgiveness, it will be given. But I have started to ask myself the question, actually there are two questions. If I expect forgiveness then should I also not be willing to forgive myself? The second question is if we forgive, should we not also forget?
I know that I have been hurt, disappointed, and betrayed by people that I have loved and trusted, both family and friends. And I have carried around that betrayal in my heart like a badge of some kind. Yet I know that I have also hurt and betrayed my Heavenly Father. Yet all I have to do is ask for his forgiveness and it is given freely. OK, some of those earthly beings that hurt me, have never and will never ask me to forgive them. So does that give me permission not to forgive them? No, because in many instances, they have no idea that they have done anything And for those that do know what they have done, but refuse to acknowledge it. That is an issue they will have to deal with. But it is my responsibility to forgive. Then we come to the forgetting part.
When I ask for that forgiveness, is God going to remind me of it when I mess up again? Nope, he will just continue to love me and forgive me. All past transgressions are forgotten. Therefore, when you forgive, it will not be complete and total forgiveness if you do not also forget. I understand how difficult this is. I have wrestled with this deli ma for sometime now myself. It seems that one person in particular has made it their goal in life to be my undoing. We will never be friends again, but I have forgiven them and am moving on with my life.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
You Aren't Perfect, So Why Do You Expect Me to Be?
It has been a while since I posted. Life as an employed person is much busier than I remembered. Of course when I was employed, it was only part time and I wasn’t enrolled in school. Now, I am working full time, taking 4 classes and we can’t forget the roles as wife (housekeeper, cook, laundry and bookkeeper), city alderman, and volunteer. Oh, I almost forgot, it’s also tax season.
And this morning I get one of those chain emails telling me how to live my life. Now I understand that we can all use a little advice now and then and none of us see our faults as well as those around do. But it jsut struck me as houw easy some seem to be able to reach out and try and help others with their unsolicited advice when they are unwilling to accept it in their own lives. Honestly I get a little tired of those caring little emails advising me how I can be a better person, many from people who otherwise don't give me the time of day. They have no idea of who I really am, how much I reach out and what I do. What I do I try and do quietly, no fan far, no photo ops, just helping where I can when I can.
Am I perfect, far from it. What I am is human and beign such I will never be perfect. But I pray to God every day asking for his guidance in my life, I also pray that when he does, I will follow that guidance. For I also believe that sometimes in our zeal to do good things we sometimes want things to be a certain way so badly that what we are actually hearing are our own heads,and not God speaking through our hearts.
That is what happened when I originally wrote this post. I was upset and frazzled and I wrote some very unkind things that were directed to a person who had sent one of those emails I mentioned above. No good was going to come from those words, only hurt. So, what happened, I found myself awake at 1:00 am rewriting this post. This is generally what happens to me when I didn't get the message. He makes sure that I get it one way or another.
I know also that I too have to remember that I too pass judgment, and although I may not try and tell others how they should live their lives, I certainly think that I know better than they do. So I will add to my regular prayer for guidance, understanding and acceptance of others for we are all God's children. None of us are alike and we are all special in the eyes of our father. We were all put on this earth to fulfill a purpose, some great, so not so great, but we all have a purpose and your purpose may not be the same as my purpose. But that does not mean it is any less important.
And this morning I get one of those chain emails telling me how to live my life. Now I understand that we can all use a little advice now and then and none of us see our faults as well as those around do. But it jsut struck me as houw easy some seem to be able to reach out and try and help others with their unsolicited advice when they are unwilling to accept it in their own lives. Honestly I get a little tired of those caring little emails advising me how I can be a better person, many from people who otherwise don't give me the time of day. They have no idea of who I really am, how much I reach out and what I do. What I do I try and do quietly, no fan far, no photo ops, just helping where I can when I can.
Am I perfect, far from it. What I am is human and beign such I will never be perfect. But I pray to God every day asking for his guidance in my life, I also pray that when he does, I will follow that guidance. For I also believe that sometimes in our zeal to do good things we sometimes want things to be a certain way so badly that what we are actually hearing are our own heads,and not God speaking through our hearts.
That is what happened when I originally wrote this post. I was upset and frazzled and I wrote some very unkind things that were directed to a person who had sent one of those emails I mentioned above. No good was going to come from those words, only hurt. So, what happened, I found myself awake at 1:00 am rewriting this post. This is generally what happens to me when I didn't get the message. He makes sure that I get it one way or another.
I know also that I too have to remember that I too pass judgment, and although I may not try and tell others how they should live their lives, I certainly think that I know better than they do. So I will add to my regular prayer for guidance, understanding and acceptance of others for we are all God's children. None of us are alike and we are all special in the eyes of our father. We were all put on this earth to fulfill a purpose, some great, so not so great, but we all have a purpose and your purpose may not be the same as my purpose. But that does not mean it is any less important.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Girlfriends in God Devotional
This morning's devotional was too good not to share, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
January 18, 2011
You're Just Like Your Father
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (NIV).
Friend To Friend
The story is told of a group of women who met each week to study the Bible, hoping to learn more about the nature and character of God and how He works in our life. The women were puzzled and even a little troubled by the description of God they found in Malachi 3:3, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One of the women offered to do a little research on the subject and report back to the group at their next meeting. The woman found a local silversmith and made an appointment to observe him at work, explaining that she was particularly interested in the process of refining silver. She watched as the craftsman carefully selected a piece of silver for his demonstration. She thought the piece of silver was already beautiful but evidently the silversmith saw something that she could not see. As he held the silver over the furnace, the craftsman explained that in refining silver, the silver had to be placed in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so all of the impurities would be burned away.
The woman was silent for a moment as her thoughts drifted to the fiery trials she was facing in her own life. Honestly, she did not get it. Why would a loving God allow His children to suffer when He could so easily deliver them? In fact, why does God even allow bad things to happen to people who are seeking Him and really trying to live for Him?
The woman asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. "Oh, yes!" he replied. "I cannot take my eyes off the silver. If it is left in the furnace even a moment too long, it will be destroyed." The woman suddenly understood the beauty and comfort of Malachi 3:3, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
Yes, there are times when it seems as if we will be swallowed whole by the fires of Hell itself. The pain seems too hard to bear. The fear is paralyzing. The doubt is overwhelming and questions flood our heart and mind.
Is God really who He says He is?
Will He really do what He says He will do?
Will He really keep His promises?
Our trials are not random persecutions. Heaven is not in a panic and where we are and what we are going through is no surprise to God. We may be knocked down and kicked around by life, but if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we will not be destroyed.
Our lives are filled with excess baggage and waste - a cherished sin we refuse to relinquish or an addiction to which we are enslaved. What about the emotional garbage that weighs us down or our unforgiving spirit that holds us prisoner? Fiery trials come to burn away the guilt of sin and then purify our heart. From those ashes of freedom, the Father then creates a work of beauty.
I believe the words I just wrote. I know and accept the truth that trials and hard times make me stronger and strengthen my faith, but there are times when I want it all to stop. I find myself asking, "How much is enough, Lord? How many trials do I have to endure? When will the pain and trouble end?"
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" the woman asked. The silversmith smiled and answered, "Oh, that's easy. The refining process is complete when I can see my image reflected in the silver."
God is not committed to our comfort. He is committed to our character. Only God can exchange the ashes of our sin for the beauty of His forgiveness and grace. God alone can replace our despair with His peace that passes all understanding. Hope can only be found in Him. Our purpose in life is to know and become more like Jesus ... and act just like our Father.
Let's Pray
Father, I want to be more like You. Give me the strength to withstand the trials in my life. Help me love the people who are hard to love and forgive the people who have hurt and even abused me. Burn away the sin in my life and empower me to live for You. Create a clean heart in me, Lord, and teach me how to live for You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Journaling is a powerful spiritual discipline and habit that I encourage you to cultivate this year. A journal can be a spiral notebook or leather bound book. You may write in your journal every day or once a week. Your entry can fill an entire page or one line. How you journal is not nearly as important as the fact that you journal.
Record new truths and insights God gives you as you read and study the Bible. Write your prayers and thoughts. Create a section in your journal where you can record the promises God gives you. Below are a few entries from my journal.
God will direct my steps. Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" (NIV).
God will never leave me. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" (NIV).
God will always make a way for me. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (NIV).
January 18, 2011
You're Just Like Your Father
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (NIV).
Friend To Friend
The story is told of a group of women who met each week to study the Bible, hoping to learn more about the nature and character of God and how He works in our life. The women were puzzled and even a little troubled by the description of God they found in Malachi 3:3, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One of the women offered to do a little research on the subject and report back to the group at their next meeting. The woman found a local silversmith and made an appointment to observe him at work, explaining that she was particularly interested in the process of refining silver. She watched as the craftsman carefully selected a piece of silver for his demonstration. She thought the piece of silver was already beautiful but evidently the silversmith saw something that she could not see. As he held the silver over the furnace, the craftsman explained that in refining silver, the silver had to be placed in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so all of the impurities would be burned away.
The woman was silent for a moment as her thoughts drifted to the fiery trials she was facing in her own life. Honestly, she did not get it. Why would a loving God allow His children to suffer when He could so easily deliver them? In fact, why does God even allow bad things to happen to people who are seeking Him and really trying to live for Him?
The woman asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. "Oh, yes!" he replied. "I cannot take my eyes off the silver. If it is left in the furnace even a moment too long, it will be destroyed." The woman suddenly understood the beauty and comfort of Malachi 3:3, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
Yes, there are times when it seems as if we will be swallowed whole by the fires of Hell itself. The pain seems too hard to bear. The fear is paralyzing. The doubt is overwhelming and questions flood our heart and mind.
Is God really who He says He is?
Will He really do what He says He will do?
Will He really keep His promises?
Our trials are not random persecutions. Heaven is not in a panic and where we are and what we are going through is no surprise to God. We may be knocked down and kicked around by life, but if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we will not be destroyed.
Our lives are filled with excess baggage and waste - a cherished sin we refuse to relinquish or an addiction to which we are enslaved. What about the emotional garbage that weighs us down or our unforgiving spirit that holds us prisoner? Fiery trials come to burn away the guilt of sin and then purify our heart. From those ashes of freedom, the Father then creates a work of beauty.
I believe the words I just wrote. I know and accept the truth that trials and hard times make me stronger and strengthen my faith, but there are times when I want it all to stop. I find myself asking, "How much is enough, Lord? How many trials do I have to endure? When will the pain and trouble end?"
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" the woman asked. The silversmith smiled and answered, "Oh, that's easy. The refining process is complete when I can see my image reflected in the silver."
God is not committed to our comfort. He is committed to our character. Only God can exchange the ashes of our sin for the beauty of His forgiveness and grace. God alone can replace our despair with His peace that passes all understanding. Hope can only be found in Him. Our purpose in life is to know and become more like Jesus ... and act just like our Father.
Let's Pray
Father, I want to be more like You. Give me the strength to withstand the trials in my life. Help me love the people who are hard to love and forgive the people who have hurt and even abused me. Burn away the sin in my life and empower me to live for You. Create a clean heart in me, Lord, and teach me how to live for You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Journaling is a powerful spiritual discipline and habit that I encourage you to cultivate this year. A journal can be a spiral notebook or leather bound book. You may write in your journal every day or once a week. Your entry can fill an entire page or one line. How you journal is not nearly as important as the fact that you journal.
Record new truths and insights God gives you as you read and study the Bible. Write your prayers and thoughts. Create a section in your journal where you can record the promises God gives you. Below are a few entries from my journal.
God will direct my steps. Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" (NIV).
God will never leave me. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" (NIV).
God will always make a way for me. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (NIV).
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Different might be Better
Anyone one that knows me also knows that my pets play a very important part in my life. They are as close to children as Ray and I will ever have. I have had many pets over the years, and they have all taught me lessons, which I have carried with me through the years. One of those lessons was not to make assumptions based on looks or the reputation of a supposed group. This I learned from Aesop. Aesop was a brahama bull, my grandfather purchased him to cross breed with the herfords already on the farm. All my life I had heard about how mean brahama bulls were. That is where the lesson comes in. We have all heard don’t judge a book by the cover. Well Aesop was one of those books. He was the sweetest, gentlest, big hulking, floppy eared bull that I ever saw. Thanks to Aesop I can say that I have ridden a brahama bull.
We all make assumptions based on a person’s looks. Who among us has not looked at a stranger and decided if they were worthy of our friendship based on the way they were dressed or even worse their weight, age, or even the way they talked. The phrases, fat and lazy, dumb blonde, are just some that come to mind. As a person who is overweight I am sure that my weight has played a major role how I am perceived. So just as Aesop was not the mean vicious bull he was thought to be, those people you meet may not be what you think they are. Take time to get to know them, find out who they really are. It just might surprise you just how much you can learn, from someone that is so different.
We all make assumptions based on a person’s looks. Who among us has not looked at a stranger and decided if they were worthy of our friendship based on the way they were dressed or even worse their weight, age, or even the way they talked. The phrases, fat and lazy, dumb blonde, are just some that come to mind. As a person who is overweight I am sure that my weight has played a major role how I am perceived. So just as Aesop was not the mean vicious bull he was thought to be, those people you meet may not be what you think they are. Take time to get to know them, find out who they really are. It just might surprise you just how much you can learn, from someone that is so different.
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