New Dreams

My last entry was about dreams. I realized that I had stopped dreaming, I thought I had gotten too old and there was no time left for dreams to be fulfilled.

I was so wrong.

My life is not over and I have time to dream and time for my dreams to be fulfilled. I ahve started writing and it has helped me to rid myself of some of the deamons that have been ruling my life.

I am over fifty, and I am going back to school. It is scary but I am determined to finally get that degree that I should have gotten so many years ago. It won't be easy but it will be worth it, if for no other reason to prove to myself that I can do it.

I lost my job December 2008, and I know that there are those who beleive that if I were really trying I could have found something. I disagree, it is much easier to find a new job if you still have one. It is especially difficult to explain that you were terminated without real cause, but you believe you would be an asset to the proposed new employer. I have sent resume after resume, I have gone on interviews and even a few second interviews. But it seems that no one is willing to give me the opportunity to prove what I can do.

I allowed all of the negative to seep into my soul and take over and it stopped me from dreaming, and making plans. I feel as if I am in limbo, I am afraid to make plans, in hopes that I will be working and unable to carry out said plans. But the worst thing I did was allow myself to stop dreaming.

With encouragement from my sister I have started to write about my journey through life and the many obstacles I have faced, and how my faith brought me through to the other side. By doing this I am finding that I can still dream, and there is always hope. I believe that I had to look at how far I had come, to realize how far I can still go.