The plan was for a few friends to get together for a little fun and enjoyment. But more than fun was had during our Sunday afternoon outing. Since I am evidently the only person on the planet that has not read The Help, I had no idea that going to see the movie would stir up such strong emotions. I had watched the clips and it looked like it would be a funny and enjoyable movie to see with friends, and it was. However, it also taught me a great deal about our not so recent history and how much we have grown.
I studied history in school, and I have read the books on the civil rights movement. I know the story about Rosa Parks and her bus seat, but I had no idea that there were people who behaved as those women did in that movie. Nor did I know that there were actually laws on the books that specifically targeted people because of their race.
I was born in the South, I grew up in the South and I will most likely die in the South. I have always been proud of my heritage. But watching that movie yesterday, not so much. I grew up during the time that was depicted in the movie. My family never had the luxury of a maid. And for that I am now very glad, although I would like to believe that if we had, they would not have been treated as poor women were. I learned a lesson yesterday and I hope it is one that I never forget.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Jealousy
Jealousy is a terrible emotion, and I should know. I have allowed jealousy to tag along and dictate my attitude and feelings toward others for years. The biggest problem with letting jealousy take over, is that is keeps you from really seeing the person you are jealous of for who they really are.
Jealousy has popped up when I least expect it. I have felt jealous of the kind of car a co-worker drove,the paycheck my neighbor brought home, and I really been jealous of those people who seem to be able to eat anything they want and never gain an ounce.
Jealousy popped in and paid me a visit this morning at the gym, can you believe it the gym. When "miss perfect" walked in my eyes turned from blue to green in a nano second. There she was, not an ounce of fat, beautiful hair, there was nothing wrong with her, she was perfect and I hated her. Why was she working out I wondered to myself she certainly didn't need to. But what I don't know is who she is. I do not know her story. I have no idea what her life is like. My opinion was based totally on what I saw and how it made me feel. which by the way was very inadequate.
I have learned and am still learning, that if you waste time being jealous then you may never know who a person really is. And sometimes the one you are jealous of may turn out to be the best friend you ever had. We all need to remember to dig a little deeper and stop making assumptions based on emotions.
Jealousy has popped up when I least expect it. I have felt jealous of the kind of car a co-worker drove,the paycheck my neighbor brought home, and I really been jealous of those people who seem to be able to eat anything they want and never gain an ounce.
Jealousy popped in and paid me a visit this morning at the gym, can you believe it the gym. When "miss perfect" walked in my eyes turned from blue to green in a nano second. There she was, not an ounce of fat, beautiful hair, there was nothing wrong with her, she was perfect and I hated her. Why was she working out I wondered to myself she certainly didn't need to. But what I don't know is who she is. I do not know her story. I have no idea what her life is like. My opinion was based totally on what I saw and how it made me feel. which by the way was very inadequate.
I have learned and am still learning, that if you waste time being jealous then you may never know who a person really is. And sometimes the one you are jealous of may turn out to be the best friend you ever had. We all need to remember to dig a little deeper and stop making assumptions based on emotions.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Be Careful About the Lessons You Teach
We all know someone that really needs to be taught a lesson. And many of us have no trouble in volunteering to be the teacher. But we really need to think before we teach.
Recently I took it upon myself to teach someone that I know a lesson. This person is younger than me and is a mother and a grandmother. It is the general opinion of several that know her, that she is could use a lesson in responsibility. So when given the opportunity to teach such a lesson I was more than willing to do my part.
The mother had not followed through and contacted me to make sure that there would be enough food for her group at a particular event. As usual I had more than enough for all that were present and could have shared, but in order to teach her that very important lesson, I chose not to. Thus the children were not fed. After I got home it really started to sink in, I had "thrown out the baby with the bath water." In my zeal to teach an irresponsible parent a lesson, I taught a group of teenagers an even bigger lesson. They saw just how selfish a person could be.
At the time, I did not see myself as selfish, I had asked who wanted food and those that had, paid for their meals. So I told myself that it was not fair to them if I gave it to others when I had taken money from them. And I was not doing it for money, at least not a profit. All I had asked for was to cover the cost.
But whatever the motive behind it, I was wrong. It is not for me to judge, or to teach lessons, that is up to God and he will in his time and in his way. I have been so blessed over the last 12 months and I should be rejoicing and sharing my blessings. Those of us who call ourselves Christians have to be mindful of who and what we represent. We must walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
I am going to try to be less selfish and more understanding, but most of all I will try and remember that I am not the judge nor the jury and the lessons that need teaching will be taught by a much better teacher than me.
Recently I took it upon myself to teach someone that I know a lesson. This person is younger than me and is a mother and a grandmother. It is the general opinion of several that know her, that she is could use a lesson in responsibility. So when given the opportunity to teach such a lesson I was more than willing to do my part.
The mother had not followed through and contacted me to make sure that there would be enough food for her group at a particular event. As usual I had more than enough for all that were present and could have shared, but in order to teach her that very important lesson, I chose not to. Thus the children were not fed. After I got home it really started to sink in, I had "thrown out the baby with the bath water." In my zeal to teach an irresponsible parent a lesson, I taught a group of teenagers an even bigger lesson. They saw just how selfish a person could be.
At the time, I did not see myself as selfish, I had asked who wanted food and those that had, paid for their meals. So I told myself that it was not fair to them if I gave it to others when I had taken money from them. And I was not doing it for money, at least not a profit. All I had asked for was to cover the cost.
But whatever the motive behind it, I was wrong. It is not for me to judge, or to teach lessons, that is up to God and he will in his time and in his way. I have been so blessed over the last 12 months and I should be rejoicing and sharing my blessings. Those of us who call ourselves Christians have to be mindful of who and what we represent. We must walk the walk as well as talk the talk.
I am going to try to be less selfish and more understanding, but most of all I will try and remember that I am not the judge nor the jury and the lessons that need teaching will be taught by a much better teacher than me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Trust
This morning like most mornings I read my devotionals. They come to me via email on a daily basis. Most mornings one of the three will speak directly to me. Funny thing this morning they all talked of trust in one way or another. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have trust issues. Over the years I have opened myself up to people only to be disappointed or worse yet hurt. Trust is a hard thing to do.
In our lives we are asked to trust in so many areas, we trust that our employers will keep us and that they will pay us for the work that we do. We trust our parents, our children and our friends. our elected officials, and on and on. There are some that will use this trust to take advantage and hurt. There are others that just plainly do not deserve the trust that we have placed in them.
For those who have found that their trust was misplaced, it becomes more difficult for them to trust and thus they may miss out on some very special relationships because of this. This is where I found myself. Over the years, trusted friends turned out not to be so trustworthy. Family disappointed and took advantage, causing me to put up my guard. If I didn't open up and let anyone in, then I would not get hurt.
I found out that it doesn't work that way, we were put on this earth to be a family, to trust and take care of each other. Yes, there are those who will hurt us no matter what. There are those who see my trust as a weakness to exploit and use to their advantage. I am learning that it is their loss not mine. You will notice I said "learning" it is an ongoing process. The biggest thing that I have learned is to trust God, I know that if I will put my trust in him that nothing else really matters. He will take care of me, great things will happen in my life and none of the rest really matters. I am not saying that I will not be hurt by those who betray my trust, it will still hurt, and bad things will still happen in my life. But if I will put my full and complete trust in him then it will be ok.
Trusting is not easy, especially for a wall builder life myself. I work every day at giving it over to God and leaving it with him, it is hard! I am a fixer, and fixer with trust issues on top of that. But I am working on it and each day it becomes a little easier.
And for those whom I have trusted, and been hurt. I pray that I can get past my hurt and I pray that they will see how much they have hurt not just me but others with their betrayal. I want to let it go and get on with life, and most of all I want to trust without doubt.
In our lives we are asked to trust in so many areas, we trust that our employers will keep us and that they will pay us for the work that we do. We trust our parents, our children and our friends. our elected officials, and on and on. There are some that will use this trust to take advantage and hurt. There are others that just plainly do not deserve the trust that we have placed in them.
For those who have found that their trust was misplaced, it becomes more difficult for them to trust and thus they may miss out on some very special relationships because of this. This is where I found myself. Over the years, trusted friends turned out not to be so trustworthy. Family disappointed and took advantage, causing me to put up my guard. If I didn't open up and let anyone in, then I would not get hurt.
I found out that it doesn't work that way, we were put on this earth to be a family, to trust and take care of each other. Yes, there are those who will hurt us no matter what. There are those who see my trust as a weakness to exploit and use to their advantage. I am learning that it is their loss not mine. You will notice I said "learning" it is an ongoing process. The biggest thing that I have learned is to trust God, I know that if I will put my trust in him that nothing else really matters. He will take care of me, great things will happen in my life and none of the rest really matters. I am not saying that I will not be hurt by those who betray my trust, it will still hurt, and bad things will still happen in my life. But if I will put my full and complete trust in him then it will be ok.
Trusting is not easy, especially for a wall builder life myself. I work every day at giving it over to God and leaving it with him, it is hard! I am a fixer, and fixer with trust issues on top of that. But I am working on it and each day it becomes a little easier.
And for those whom I have trusted, and been hurt. I pray that I can get past my hurt and I pray that they will see how much they have hurt not just me but others with their betrayal. I want to let it go and get on with life, and most of all I want to trust without doubt.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Understanding
This morning as I was catching up with my friends on Face Book a friend posted something that really upset me. It was a comment about someone that he knows, who has evidently threatened to hurt himself. This post struck a nerve with me and I had to post a response of my own.
The "conversation" went back and forth between my friend and myself with another person jumping in and adding their opinion as well. The general consensus from their side was that the person was trying to get attention, and that if they really wanted to die then they should just go ahead and get it over with. My opinion was that the person was reaching out for help in the only way that they knew how. And they that they needed understanding and help.
After a few interchanges I decided that the best thing for me was to un-friend my friend, so that I no longer had to read the posts that he and his friends were posting.
But what really upset me was the callousness of my friend and his friend. We all need to work to understand those around us, and realize that each is dealing with their own demons. I know that my action of un-friending was not the answer, but it was the best thing for me to do at the time. I just pray that the person that was the subject of the conversation receives the help that they are so desperately reaching out for.
The "conversation" went back and forth between my friend and myself with another person jumping in and adding their opinion as well. The general consensus from their side was that the person was trying to get attention, and that if they really wanted to die then they should just go ahead and get it over with. My opinion was that the person was reaching out for help in the only way that they knew how. And they that they needed understanding and help.
After a few interchanges I decided that the best thing for me was to un-friend my friend, so that I no longer had to read the posts that he and his friends were posting.
But what really upset me was the callousness of my friend and his friend. We all need to work to understand those around us, and realize that each is dealing with their own demons. I know that my action of un-friending was not the answer, but it was the best thing for me to do at the time. I just pray that the person that was the subject of the conversation receives the help that they are so desperately reaching out for.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Hurt Feelings
A friend of mine was hurt by a fellow church member. And because of this she has decided to resign her duties in the church and worship else where. She has talked to me about this and plans on visiting my church, although we are of different faiths. I am struggling with her decision to turn her back her church, because of this one person.
I keep asking myself what would Jesus do, and is this what God wants her to do. I myself have done the same thing. There was a time that I chose to worship in a different church, much for the same reason. Was I wrong in doing this? I do not know, what I do know is that changing my place of worship allowed me to meet and get to know people that I otherwise would not have. I also allowed me to lick my wounds and heal the hurts that had been inflicted. But my situation was a little different than that of my friend. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself.
Churches are dying, especially those small churches that I remember from my childhood, and the blame is due in part to situations such as this. Someone says something and we decide that we can no longer worship God under the same roof as they do. Is this what our father would have us to do. As I think and pray on it, no is the answer that I keep getting.
We all have faults, and we are all different. And it is our responsibility as Christians to learn to live in peace with one another and work together to spread the word.
We all have good days and bad days, and we will all get our feelings hurt and hurt the feelings of those around us, and how we deal with those situations is how we will be judged.
I keep asking myself what would Jesus do, and is this what God wants her to do. I myself have done the same thing. There was a time that I chose to worship in a different church, much for the same reason. Was I wrong in doing this? I do not know, what I do know is that changing my place of worship allowed me to meet and get to know people that I otherwise would not have. I also allowed me to lick my wounds and heal the hurts that had been inflicted. But my situation was a little different than that of my friend. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself.
Churches are dying, especially those small churches that I remember from my childhood, and the blame is due in part to situations such as this. Someone says something and we decide that we can no longer worship God under the same roof as they do. Is this what our father would have us to do. As I think and pray on it, no is the answer that I keep getting.
We all have faults, and we are all different. And it is our responsibility as Christians to learn to live in peace with one another and work together to spread the word.
We all have good days and bad days, and we will all get our feelings hurt and hurt the feelings of those around us, and how we deal with those situations is how we will be judged.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Belonging
It seems that I have struggled to fit in and belong for most of my life. My earliest memories of childhood and school were feelings of standing on the outside looking in. Never seeming to fit, for years I have felt like a square peg around nothing but round holes.
Even in with family, where we should feel the most secure and accepted, I have felt like an outsider. My parents were divorced when I was around 10 and both remarried. My mother several times. My father only once more, to a wonderful lady that I call mom. I love my stepmother dearly and I refer to her children as my brother and sisters. But when you look at family photos, you will see the division, hers and his.
I am most likely then only one that notices this division. All of the rest have children of their own and have built families of their own. I am the only one that clings to them like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I am the only one that is desperate to belong and to be a part of the family.
It hurts to hear my "mom" talk to me about "her kids" as if I were a neighbor that she confides in, and not actually on of the kids. I try to understand how difficult it must be to feel equally about children that you gave birth to and children that you "married". But even though I try my best to understand, it still hurts.
It hurts to be excluded from pictures because I am not a real sister. Especially when I have accepted them as my siblings, and love them and their children as if we were related by blood.
Even in with family, where we should feel the most secure and accepted, I have felt like an outsider. My parents were divorced when I was around 10 and both remarried. My mother several times. My father only once more, to a wonderful lady that I call mom. I love my stepmother dearly and I refer to her children as my brother and sisters. But when you look at family photos, you will see the division, hers and his.
I am most likely then only one that notices this division. All of the rest have children of their own and have built families of their own. I am the only one that clings to them like a drowning person clings to a life raft. I am the only one that is desperate to belong and to be a part of the family.
It hurts to hear my "mom" talk to me about "her kids" as if I were a neighbor that she confides in, and not actually on of the kids. I try to understand how difficult it must be to feel equally about children that you gave birth to and children that you "married". But even though I try my best to understand, it still hurts.
It hurts to be excluded from pictures because I am not a real sister. Especially when I have accepted them as my siblings, and love them and their children as if we were related by blood.
Friday, February 25, 2011
What Kind of Book Are You Writing?
Each day I receive 3 devotionals via email. I am sharing this one today as it has spoken to me. Recently I have felt the call to write, and if I am not careful I have found that my writings can and will hurt others. That is not my intention, I write from the heart and after reading this I realize even more the power of the written word and know that before I put words on paper I must pray and listen for guidance and direction, so that my words are uplifting and encouraging.
Yes, my writings are for myself, but I must keep in mind that others will be reading them and although I may not intend for them to mean a certain thing they could be taken wrong. Therefore, I will pray that the words I use are the words that God intends for me to use, to get his message out and not my own.
What Kind of Book Are You Writing?
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
"I will be careful how I act and will not sin by what I say. I will be careful what I say around wicked people. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. So, I spoke" (Psalm 39:1, 3 NCV).
Friend To Friend
A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in a Seminary class taught by Dr. Smith, a teacher who was well known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the classroom and instantly knew they were going to have a lot of fun. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table was a large stack of darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of a person they disliked or someone who had made them angry and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.
Sally's girlfriend drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother who was a constant irritation. Sally drew a picture of a former friend who had betrayed her. As Sally remembered the pain and hurt of that broken friendship, she put a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. When her picture was completed, Sally sat back and gazed at her work, pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.
The class lined up and began throwing darts. Laughter and shouts of success rang out as each dart found its target. Some of the students threw the darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally was looking forward to her turn but was disappointed when Dr. Smith called time and asked the students to return to their seats.
As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A complete hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covering His face.
Dr. Smith quietly said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:40, KJV). No other words were necessary. The tear-filled eyes of each student focused only on the picture of Christ.
Words are like seeds. What we plant will grow. The words we speak are powerful and will either build up or destroy. Words can diffuse anger and turn tragedy into triumph. The right word, spoken at the right time and in the right way can bring peace in the midst of confusion. God gives us "spiritual radar" so we can assess a situation and speak the right word for that circumstance, but how often do we speak before we check the radar?
· A judge utters a few words and a guilty man is taken to death row.
· A friend speaks a word of encouragement and a desperate heart finds hope.
· A mother lashes out with angry words and the light in her child's eyes is gone.
· A wife offers a word of forgiveness and a marriage is saved.
· A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is destroyed.
· A teenager says "no" and changes the course of her life.
It has been estimated that most people speak enough words in one week to fill a large book of 500 pages which, in the average lifetime, would amount to somewhere around 3000 volumes or 1,500,000 pages. What kind of book are you writing today with your words?
Let's Pray
Father, I need Your help. I want the words I speak to encourage and build up the people in my life. Forgive me for the hurtful words I have spoken. Teach me how to speak the right words in each situation and how to think before I speak. And Lord, help me keep my mouth shut when I need to!
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Read Colossians 4:6 (NLT) "Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone."
What guidelines does this verse give us for the words we speak?
What one change do you need to make today in order to tame your tongue?
More From The Girlfriends
I love the honesty of the woman who prayed, "Lord, help me control my tongue so that on Judgment Day, I won't be found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon." I struggle to control the words I speak. I can be quick to criticize and slow to encourage. Not a day passes that I don't find myself wishing I could retract some statement I made during the day. The reality is that a spoken word cannot be unspoken. We need to understand the power of our words and choose them carefully.
Yes, my writings are for myself, but I must keep in mind that others will be reading them and although I may not intend for them to mean a certain thing they could be taken wrong. Therefore, I will pray that the words I use are the words that God intends for me to use, to get his message out and not my own.
What Kind of Book Are You Writing?
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
"I will be careful how I act and will not sin by what I say. I will be careful what I say around wicked people. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned. So, I spoke" (Psalm 39:1, 3 NCV).
Friend To Friend
A young lady named Sally relates an experience she had in a Seminary class taught by Dr. Smith, a teacher who was well known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the classroom and instantly knew they were going to have a lot of fun. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table was a large stack of darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of a person they disliked or someone who had made them angry and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.
Sally's girlfriend drew a picture of a girl who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother who was a constant irritation. Sally drew a picture of a former friend who had betrayed her. As Sally remembered the pain and hurt of that broken friendship, she put a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. When her picture was completed, Sally sat back and gazed at her work, pleased with the overall effect she had achieved.
The class lined up and began throwing darts. Laughter and shouts of success rang out as each dart found its target. Some of the students threw the darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally was looking forward to her turn but was disappointed when Dr. Smith called time and asked the students to return to their seats.
As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target, Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A complete hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covering His face.
Dr. Smith quietly said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" (Matthew 25:40, KJV). No other words were necessary. The tear-filled eyes of each student focused only on the picture of Christ.
Words are like seeds. What we plant will grow. The words we speak are powerful and will either build up or destroy. Words can diffuse anger and turn tragedy into triumph. The right word, spoken at the right time and in the right way can bring peace in the midst of confusion. God gives us "spiritual radar" so we can assess a situation and speak the right word for that circumstance, but how often do we speak before we check the radar?
· A judge utters a few words and a guilty man is taken to death row.
· A friend speaks a word of encouragement and a desperate heart finds hope.
· A mother lashes out with angry words and the light in her child's eyes is gone.
· A wife offers a word of forgiveness and a marriage is saved.
· A gossip makes a phone call and a reputation is destroyed.
· A teenager says "no" and changes the course of her life.
It has been estimated that most people speak enough words in one week to fill a large book of 500 pages which, in the average lifetime, would amount to somewhere around 3000 volumes or 1,500,000 pages. What kind of book are you writing today with your words?
Let's Pray
Father, I need Your help. I want the words I speak to encourage and build up the people in my life. Forgive me for the hurtful words I have spoken. Teach me how to speak the right words in each situation and how to think before I speak. And Lord, help me keep my mouth shut when I need to!
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Read Colossians 4:6 (NLT) "Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone."
What guidelines does this verse give us for the words we speak?
What one change do you need to make today in order to tame your tongue?
More From The Girlfriends
I love the honesty of the woman who prayed, "Lord, help me control my tongue so that on Judgment Day, I won't be found guilty of assault with a deadly weapon." I struggle to control the words I speak. I can be quick to criticize and slow to encourage. Not a day passes that I don't find myself wishing I could retract some statement I made during the day. The reality is that a spoken word cannot be unspoken. We need to understand the power of our words and choose them carefully.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Joy, Peace and Happiness
I am HAPPY, I realized this on my way home from work yesterday. I was talking to a friend and it occurred to me that I was truly happy. If this seems like an odd statement you would have to understand that for years, I have not been truly happy.
There was something missing in my life and it was robbing me of actual happiness. Don't misunderstand I have had fun, and joy. But I do not remember a tie when I could say that I was truly happy. I always felt like there was something lacking, and if I could only make more money so that I could buy this or that, usually something completely unnecessary and useless in the grand scheme of things, then I would finally find happiness. But it never worked. I searched and yearned and blamed others for my state. Then suddenly one day I realize that I am happy and no person or thing had anything to do with it.
This sense of peace has come from finally letting go and letting God run my life. I still don't have piles of money, I still get really aggravated at Ray, and there are days when my new job really stinks, but these are not the things that have given me my happiness and losing them will not take it away. I would surely hate to lose Ray, and I almost have on a couple of occasions. And it was probably those incidents that made me realize just how important he is to me. But people and things are not where my happiness comes from. I still get my feelings hurt, and people still disappoint me, but I no longer give them the power to control my feelings as I once did. I know now that as long as I am true to myself and work everyday to follow the path that God wants me to follow my life will be better and I will be a better person and for it.
As I talked to my friend on the phone and told her of this wonderful feeling that I expressed my desire to share it with all of those around me. In fact I told her that “I wish I could spread it like peanut butter” so that everyone would know the joy and peace that I do. So dear friends my prayer for you today is this. “Dear Heavenly Father, please allow all of your children to know this wonderful sense of love and peace, as it is a wonderful gift and I am so thankful that you have shared it with me so that I may pass it on to those around me. In your name I pray, Amen.
There was something missing in my life and it was robbing me of actual happiness. Don't misunderstand I have had fun, and joy. But I do not remember a tie when I could say that I was truly happy. I always felt like there was something lacking, and if I could only make more money so that I could buy this or that, usually something completely unnecessary and useless in the grand scheme of things, then I would finally find happiness. But it never worked. I searched and yearned and blamed others for my state. Then suddenly one day I realize that I am happy and no person or thing had anything to do with it.
This sense of peace has come from finally letting go and letting God run my life. I still don't have piles of money, I still get really aggravated at Ray, and there are days when my new job really stinks, but these are not the things that have given me my happiness and losing them will not take it away. I would surely hate to lose Ray, and I almost have on a couple of occasions. And it was probably those incidents that made me realize just how important he is to me. But people and things are not where my happiness comes from. I still get my feelings hurt, and people still disappoint me, but I no longer give them the power to control my feelings as I once did. I know now that as long as I am true to myself and work everyday to follow the path that God wants me to follow my life will be better and I will be a better person and for it.
As I talked to my friend on the phone and told her of this wonderful feeling that I expressed my desire to share it with all of those around me. In fact I told her that “I wish I could spread it like peanut butter” so that everyone would know the joy and peace that I do. So dear friends my prayer for you today is this. “Dear Heavenly Father, please allow all of your children to know this wonderful sense of love and peace, as it is a wonderful gift and I am so thankful that you have shared it with me so that I may pass it on to those around me. In your name I pray, Amen.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day
Not a lot to say on this day designated for "lovers". Just happy to be who I am and where I am. And Thankful to God for all he has brought into my life.
My husband Ray, who loves me unconditionally; my family who has been there for me when I needed them most;and my friends who have encouraged me, and shown me a love that I never would have imagined. I thank you all for being there, through some pretty rocky times.
I love you all for all you have been and will be in my life. But most of all I thank God for allowing me to know you and to love you.
My husband Ray, who loves me unconditionally; my family who has been there for me when I needed them most;and my friends who have encouraged me, and shown me a love that I never would have imagined. I thank you all for being there, through some pretty rocky times.
I love you all for all you have been and will be in my life. But most of all I thank God for allowing me to know you and to love you.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Roots
Growing up I dreamed of the kind of house that I would live in when I was old, you know in my twenties. The kind of home that I wanted changed from year to year. There was the time that I wanted a ranch house, with lots of horses roaming around. Then after reading “Gone With the Wind”, I wanted my own Tara. But I have come to realize that it wasn’t the house that I craved but a home. I wanted a place that I could call my own, where I could feel safe and free to be myself.
We were never homeless in the sense that we had nowhere to live, but in another sense I was homeless. I have anywhere that I belonged. To some degree I had that while living with my grandparents, but I was always reminded that my room was not really my room. It was actually my Uncle’s or my Aunt’s. And I was merely a “guest” passing through.
The farm that my grandparents lived on has been in my family for many generations and my roots are there. And I finally have a home that is mine. As an adult I have not traveled a lot, I hate to move I like to settle in and stay. This I am sure comes from being moved around a lot as a child. But I have come to realize recently that it wasn’t the building that I was yearning for, but the feeling of security that comes with it. When I am here I know that I am in my safe haven, with someone who loves me and cares for me. I can shut out the world and the chaos that goes with it and be myself.
No one can kick me out of my bedroom, or make me feel like a visitor or an outsider. This is not just a house, it is my home. I also know that it would not matter where this building is, or how big it is, as long as there is love within, it will always be home. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband, Ray into my life. He has allowed me to be me, no excuses, no apologies. He loves me and I love him. We do not always see eye to eye and in many ways we are total and complete opposites. But together we work. We respect each other, and protect each other. I will argue when I disagree with him, but I will defend him to anyone that tries to do him harm, as he will for me. It is funny how our roots can be in one place but our hearts are somewhere else.
We were never homeless in the sense that we had nowhere to live, but in another sense I was homeless. I have anywhere that I belonged. To some degree I had that while living with my grandparents, but I was always reminded that my room was not really my room. It was actually my Uncle’s or my Aunt’s. And I was merely a “guest” passing through.
The farm that my grandparents lived on has been in my family for many generations and my roots are there. And I finally have a home that is mine. As an adult I have not traveled a lot, I hate to move I like to settle in and stay. This I am sure comes from being moved around a lot as a child. But I have come to realize recently that it wasn’t the building that I was yearning for, but the feeling of security that comes with it. When I am here I know that I am in my safe haven, with someone who loves me and cares for me. I can shut out the world and the chaos that goes with it and be myself.
No one can kick me out of my bedroom, or make me feel like a visitor or an outsider. This is not just a house, it is my home. I also know that it would not matter where this building is, or how big it is, as long as there is love within, it will always be home. I am so thankful to God for bringing my husband, Ray into my life. He has allowed me to be me, no excuses, no apologies. He loves me and I love him. We do not always see eye to eye and in many ways we are total and complete opposites. But together we work. We respect each other, and protect each other. I will argue when I disagree with him, but I will defend him to anyone that tries to do him harm, as he will for me. It is funny how our roots can be in one place but our hearts are somewhere else.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Forgive and Forget
As I sit here trying to come up with an idea for my blog, I wonder why is it that all my really great thoughts seem to come to me in the middle of the night. If that the only time that I will allow my mind to clear enough? That is one explanation. Another is that maybe that is the only time that I am truly quiet and listening. For whatever the reason, that is when my thoughts seem to be the clearest. There have been times that a thought would be so strong that I would get out of bed and write. But since starting my new job, I would really rather not spend two of three hours sitting at my desk in the middle of the night. Sleep is a very important thing to me, especially when I know that I am going to have to get up at 6:00 am.
One of the things that has stuck with me over the last few days is forgiveness As Christians, we understand that if we seek forgiveness, it will be given. But I have started to ask myself the question, actually there are two questions. If I expect forgiveness then should I also not be willing to forgive myself? The second question is if we forgive, should we not also forget?
I know that I have been hurt, disappointed, and betrayed by people that I have loved and trusted, both family and friends. And I have carried around that betrayal in my heart like a badge of some kind. Yet I know that I have also hurt and betrayed my Heavenly Father. Yet all I have to do is ask for his forgiveness and it is given freely. OK, some of those earthly beings that hurt me, have never and will never ask me to forgive them. So does that give me permission not to forgive them? No, because in many instances, they have no idea that they have done anything And for those that do know what they have done, but refuse to acknowledge it. That is an issue they will have to deal with. But it is my responsibility to forgive. Then we come to the forgetting part.
When I ask for that forgiveness, is God going to remind me of it when I mess up again? Nope, he will just continue to love me and forgive me. All past transgressions are forgotten. Therefore, when you forgive, it will not be complete and total forgiveness if you do not also forget. I understand how difficult this is. I have wrestled with this deli ma for sometime now myself. It seems that one person in particular has made it their goal in life to be my undoing. We will never be friends again, but I have forgiven them and am moving on with my life.
One of the things that has stuck with me over the last few days is forgiveness As Christians, we understand that if we seek forgiveness, it will be given. But I have started to ask myself the question, actually there are two questions. If I expect forgiveness then should I also not be willing to forgive myself? The second question is if we forgive, should we not also forget?
I know that I have been hurt, disappointed, and betrayed by people that I have loved and trusted, both family and friends. And I have carried around that betrayal in my heart like a badge of some kind. Yet I know that I have also hurt and betrayed my Heavenly Father. Yet all I have to do is ask for his forgiveness and it is given freely. OK, some of those earthly beings that hurt me, have never and will never ask me to forgive them. So does that give me permission not to forgive them? No, because in many instances, they have no idea that they have done anything And for those that do know what they have done, but refuse to acknowledge it. That is an issue they will have to deal with. But it is my responsibility to forgive. Then we come to the forgetting part.
When I ask for that forgiveness, is God going to remind me of it when I mess up again? Nope, he will just continue to love me and forgive me. All past transgressions are forgotten. Therefore, when you forgive, it will not be complete and total forgiveness if you do not also forget. I understand how difficult this is. I have wrestled with this deli ma for sometime now myself. It seems that one person in particular has made it their goal in life to be my undoing. We will never be friends again, but I have forgiven them and am moving on with my life.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
You Aren't Perfect, So Why Do You Expect Me to Be?
It has been a while since I posted. Life as an employed person is much busier than I remembered. Of course when I was employed, it was only part time and I wasn’t enrolled in school. Now, I am working full time, taking 4 classes and we can’t forget the roles as wife (housekeeper, cook, laundry and bookkeeper), city alderman, and volunteer. Oh, I almost forgot, it’s also tax season.
And this morning I get one of those chain emails telling me how to live my life. Now I understand that we can all use a little advice now and then and none of us see our faults as well as those around do. But it jsut struck me as houw easy some seem to be able to reach out and try and help others with their unsolicited advice when they are unwilling to accept it in their own lives. Honestly I get a little tired of those caring little emails advising me how I can be a better person, many from people who otherwise don't give me the time of day. They have no idea of who I really am, how much I reach out and what I do. What I do I try and do quietly, no fan far, no photo ops, just helping where I can when I can.
Am I perfect, far from it. What I am is human and beign such I will never be perfect. But I pray to God every day asking for his guidance in my life, I also pray that when he does, I will follow that guidance. For I also believe that sometimes in our zeal to do good things we sometimes want things to be a certain way so badly that what we are actually hearing are our own heads,and not God speaking through our hearts.
That is what happened when I originally wrote this post. I was upset and frazzled and I wrote some very unkind things that were directed to a person who had sent one of those emails I mentioned above. No good was going to come from those words, only hurt. So, what happened, I found myself awake at 1:00 am rewriting this post. This is generally what happens to me when I didn't get the message. He makes sure that I get it one way or another.
I know also that I too have to remember that I too pass judgment, and although I may not try and tell others how they should live their lives, I certainly think that I know better than they do. So I will add to my regular prayer for guidance, understanding and acceptance of others for we are all God's children. None of us are alike and we are all special in the eyes of our father. We were all put on this earth to fulfill a purpose, some great, so not so great, but we all have a purpose and your purpose may not be the same as my purpose. But that does not mean it is any less important.
And this morning I get one of those chain emails telling me how to live my life. Now I understand that we can all use a little advice now and then and none of us see our faults as well as those around do. But it jsut struck me as houw easy some seem to be able to reach out and try and help others with their unsolicited advice when they are unwilling to accept it in their own lives. Honestly I get a little tired of those caring little emails advising me how I can be a better person, many from people who otherwise don't give me the time of day. They have no idea of who I really am, how much I reach out and what I do. What I do I try and do quietly, no fan far, no photo ops, just helping where I can when I can.
Am I perfect, far from it. What I am is human and beign such I will never be perfect. But I pray to God every day asking for his guidance in my life, I also pray that when he does, I will follow that guidance. For I also believe that sometimes in our zeal to do good things we sometimes want things to be a certain way so badly that what we are actually hearing are our own heads,and not God speaking through our hearts.
That is what happened when I originally wrote this post. I was upset and frazzled and I wrote some very unkind things that were directed to a person who had sent one of those emails I mentioned above. No good was going to come from those words, only hurt. So, what happened, I found myself awake at 1:00 am rewriting this post. This is generally what happens to me when I didn't get the message. He makes sure that I get it one way or another.
I know also that I too have to remember that I too pass judgment, and although I may not try and tell others how they should live their lives, I certainly think that I know better than they do. So I will add to my regular prayer for guidance, understanding and acceptance of others for we are all God's children. None of us are alike and we are all special in the eyes of our father. We were all put on this earth to fulfill a purpose, some great, so not so great, but we all have a purpose and your purpose may not be the same as my purpose. But that does not mean it is any less important.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Girlfriends in God Devotional
This morning's devotional was too good not to share, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
January 18, 2011
You're Just Like Your Father
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (NIV).
Friend To Friend
The story is told of a group of women who met each week to study the Bible, hoping to learn more about the nature and character of God and how He works in our life. The women were puzzled and even a little troubled by the description of God they found in Malachi 3:3, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One of the women offered to do a little research on the subject and report back to the group at their next meeting. The woman found a local silversmith and made an appointment to observe him at work, explaining that she was particularly interested in the process of refining silver. She watched as the craftsman carefully selected a piece of silver for his demonstration. She thought the piece of silver was already beautiful but evidently the silversmith saw something that she could not see. As he held the silver over the furnace, the craftsman explained that in refining silver, the silver had to be placed in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so all of the impurities would be burned away.
The woman was silent for a moment as her thoughts drifted to the fiery trials she was facing in her own life. Honestly, she did not get it. Why would a loving God allow His children to suffer when He could so easily deliver them? In fact, why does God even allow bad things to happen to people who are seeking Him and really trying to live for Him?
The woman asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. "Oh, yes!" he replied. "I cannot take my eyes off the silver. If it is left in the furnace even a moment too long, it will be destroyed." The woman suddenly understood the beauty and comfort of Malachi 3:3, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
Yes, there are times when it seems as if we will be swallowed whole by the fires of Hell itself. The pain seems too hard to bear. The fear is paralyzing. The doubt is overwhelming and questions flood our heart and mind.
Is God really who He says He is?
Will He really do what He says He will do?
Will He really keep His promises?
Our trials are not random persecutions. Heaven is not in a panic and where we are and what we are going through is no surprise to God. We may be knocked down and kicked around by life, but if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we will not be destroyed.
Our lives are filled with excess baggage and waste - a cherished sin we refuse to relinquish or an addiction to which we are enslaved. What about the emotional garbage that weighs us down or our unforgiving spirit that holds us prisoner? Fiery trials come to burn away the guilt of sin and then purify our heart. From those ashes of freedom, the Father then creates a work of beauty.
I believe the words I just wrote. I know and accept the truth that trials and hard times make me stronger and strengthen my faith, but there are times when I want it all to stop. I find myself asking, "How much is enough, Lord? How many trials do I have to endure? When will the pain and trouble end?"
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" the woman asked. The silversmith smiled and answered, "Oh, that's easy. The refining process is complete when I can see my image reflected in the silver."
God is not committed to our comfort. He is committed to our character. Only God can exchange the ashes of our sin for the beauty of His forgiveness and grace. God alone can replace our despair with His peace that passes all understanding. Hope can only be found in Him. Our purpose in life is to know and become more like Jesus ... and act just like our Father.
Let's Pray
Father, I want to be more like You. Give me the strength to withstand the trials in my life. Help me love the people who are hard to love and forgive the people who have hurt and even abused me. Burn away the sin in my life and empower me to live for You. Create a clean heart in me, Lord, and teach me how to live for You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Journaling is a powerful spiritual discipline and habit that I encourage you to cultivate this year. A journal can be a spiral notebook or leather bound book. You may write in your journal every day or once a week. Your entry can fill an entire page or one line. How you journal is not nearly as important as the fact that you journal.
Record new truths and insights God gives you as you read and study the Bible. Write your prayers and thoughts. Create a section in your journal where you can record the promises God gives you. Below are a few entries from my journal.
God will direct my steps. Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" (NIV).
God will never leave me. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" (NIV).
God will always make a way for me. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (NIV).
January 18, 2011
You're Just Like Your Father
Mary Southerland
Today's Truth
Malachi 3:3 "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver" (NIV).
Friend To Friend
The story is told of a group of women who met each week to study the Bible, hoping to learn more about the nature and character of God and how He works in our life. The women were puzzled and even a little troubled by the description of God they found in Malachi 3:3, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." One of the women offered to do a little research on the subject and report back to the group at their next meeting. The woman found a local silversmith and made an appointment to observe him at work, explaining that she was particularly interested in the process of refining silver. She watched as the craftsman carefully selected a piece of silver for his demonstration. She thought the piece of silver was already beautiful but evidently the silversmith saw something that she could not see. As he held the silver over the furnace, the craftsman explained that in refining silver, the silver had to be placed in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so all of the impurities would be burned away.
The woman was silent for a moment as her thoughts drifted to the fiery trials she was facing in her own life. Honestly, she did not get it. Why would a loving God allow His children to suffer when He could so easily deliver them? In fact, why does God even allow bad things to happen to people who are seeking Him and really trying to live for Him?
The woman asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. "Oh, yes!" he replied. "I cannot take my eyes off the silver. If it is left in the furnace even a moment too long, it will be destroyed." The woman suddenly understood the beauty and comfort of Malachi 3:3, "He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver."
Yes, there are times when it seems as if we will be swallowed whole by the fires of Hell itself. The pain seems too hard to bear. The fear is paralyzing. The doubt is overwhelming and questions flood our heart and mind.
Is God really who He says He is?
Will He really do what He says He will do?
Will He really keep His promises?
Our trials are not random persecutions. Heaven is not in a panic and where we are and what we are going through is no surprise to God. We may be knocked down and kicked around by life, but if we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we will not be destroyed.
Our lives are filled with excess baggage and waste - a cherished sin we refuse to relinquish or an addiction to which we are enslaved. What about the emotional garbage that weighs us down or our unforgiving spirit that holds us prisoner? Fiery trials come to burn away the guilt of sin and then purify our heart. From those ashes of freedom, the Father then creates a work of beauty.
I believe the words I just wrote. I know and accept the truth that trials and hard times make me stronger and strengthen my faith, but there are times when I want it all to stop. I find myself asking, "How much is enough, Lord? How many trials do I have to endure? When will the pain and trouble end?"
"How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" the woman asked. The silversmith smiled and answered, "Oh, that's easy. The refining process is complete when I can see my image reflected in the silver."
God is not committed to our comfort. He is committed to our character. Only God can exchange the ashes of our sin for the beauty of His forgiveness and grace. God alone can replace our despair with His peace that passes all understanding. Hope can only be found in Him. Our purpose in life is to know and become more like Jesus ... and act just like our Father.
Let's Pray
Father, I want to be more like You. Give me the strength to withstand the trials in my life. Help me love the people who are hard to love and forgive the people who have hurt and even abused me. Burn away the sin in my life and empower me to live for You. Create a clean heart in me, Lord, and teach me how to live for You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Now It's Your Turn
Journaling is a powerful spiritual discipline and habit that I encourage you to cultivate this year. A journal can be a spiral notebook or leather bound book. You may write in your journal every day or once a week. Your entry can fill an entire page or one line. How you journal is not nearly as important as the fact that you journal.
Record new truths and insights God gives you as you read and study the Bible. Write your prayers and thoughts. Create a section in your journal where you can record the promises God gives you. Below are a few entries from my journal.
God will direct my steps. Isaiah 48:10 "See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction" (NIV).
God will never leave me. Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze" (NIV).
God will always make a way for me. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (NIV).
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Different might be Better
Anyone one that knows me also knows that my pets play a very important part in my life. They are as close to children as Ray and I will ever have. I have had many pets over the years, and they have all taught me lessons, which I have carried with me through the years. One of those lessons was not to make assumptions based on looks or the reputation of a supposed group. This I learned from Aesop. Aesop was a brahama bull, my grandfather purchased him to cross breed with the herfords already on the farm. All my life I had heard about how mean brahama bulls were. That is where the lesson comes in. We have all heard don’t judge a book by the cover. Well Aesop was one of those books. He was the sweetest, gentlest, big hulking, floppy eared bull that I ever saw. Thanks to Aesop I can say that I have ridden a brahama bull.
We all make assumptions based on a person’s looks. Who among us has not looked at a stranger and decided if they were worthy of our friendship based on the way they were dressed or even worse their weight, age, or even the way they talked. The phrases, fat and lazy, dumb blonde, are just some that come to mind. As a person who is overweight I am sure that my weight has played a major role how I am perceived. So just as Aesop was not the mean vicious bull he was thought to be, those people you meet may not be what you think they are. Take time to get to know them, find out who they really are. It just might surprise you just how much you can learn, from someone that is so different.
We all make assumptions based on a person’s looks. Who among us has not looked at a stranger and decided if they were worthy of our friendship based on the way they were dressed or even worse their weight, age, or even the way they talked. The phrases, fat and lazy, dumb blonde, are just some that come to mind. As a person who is overweight I am sure that my weight has played a major role how I am perceived. So just as Aesop was not the mean vicious bull he was thought to be, those people you meet may not be what you think they are. Take time to get to know them, find out who they really are. It just might surprise you just how much you can learn, from someone that is so different.
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